She bangs, she bangs

She bangs, she bangs! She swoops, she swoops!*

Boy oh boy bangs are everywhere nowadays. But they’re not for everyone (Olivia Wilde, ahem). So how to know if bangs could work for you?

1. You look great in hats

Are you a hat person? Do you love winter so you can bust out your ski caps? Were you totally rockin’ the fedora trend? If so, this means your face looks nice when framed from above. A nice set of bangs could be your everyday hat.

2. You have a five-finger forehead

If you look good in hats, you might also have what Tyra Banks once called a “five-finger forehead” on an ANTM episode. Slap your palm above your eyebrows. Do all five fingers fit up there? Yeah, you could cover that up with some bangs. No offense, but you have the space.

3. You don’t mind maintenance

Here’s the thing about bangs: they hang on your FACE. If you don’t keep them trimmed, they make it difficult to SEE. You will run into things. Get poked in the eye. This is not fun.

Most salons offer free bang trims between cuts. Because I’m kind of loath to get myself downtown and pay for parking just for a two-minute snip, I do it myself. Which is really no big deal, so long as the bangs are dry and straight and I haven’t been drinking.

No, it does not get more adorable than Zooey Deschanel.

4. You like products

You might get bangs and realize your hair does funny things. I discovered I have this ridonk cowlick right above my eyebrow, which I sizzle flat with my Chi (fried hair for the win!). Straight bangs don’t really need much else, but if you want to do the pretty swoopy-bang (a la Emma Stone), you’re gonna need product. Hair spray and quite possibly straightening balm. Because bangs do not swoopy by themselves.

5. You like looking young

Certain hairstyles make statements. The Victoria Beckham bob says severe and sophisticated. The Halle Berry crop says unfussy or sassy. Bangs say young. Right now they’re trendy, but otherwise they’re usually found on little girls, so they definitely say youth.

6. You like getting hit on

Men. love. bangs. Given #5….I’m not sure how I feel about this.

7. You’re not afraid of commitment

Divorcing the bangs is a painful process, requiring months of headbands, bobby pins and patience. Once you get ‘em, it’s hard to get rid of ‘em. But if you’re cool with all of the above, you probably won’t want to let them go anyway.

*Not actual lyrics.


One thought on “She bangs, she bangs

  1. I just got a swoopy bang and I love it! It’s actually low maintenance. I can just blow out the front and leave the rest curly and it looks soooo cute! I thought as a curly haired girl I couldn’t pull a swoop off, but I can!

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