Aw, poor Spain. Like, literally: Poor Spain. They are BROKE. They’re borrowing 100 billion euro to stay afloat, their unemployment rate is like 25 percent, and they’re sending their Olympic athletes to London in these retro jumpsuits worn by Russian high school drum majors.
Why, you might ask. For the love of God, WHY?!?!
Because they were free.
The athletes tell Twitter they are decidedly less than pleased. Some say so diplomatically (“They’re loud. Very loud.”), some say so tragically (“There are not enough adjectives.”).
Dear people of Spain: Have you no shame? I know you have no money, but have you sense of decency? You are a passionate people, what with your love of running bulls and decadent tapas. The only dude who would make these for free was this Bosco designer named after my favorite high school lunch? (Texts from the year 2002: “BOSCO STIX 2DAY!!! <3 <3)
It’s the Olympics. The finest athletes from all over the planet are there to simultaneously show off their stuff and our collective achievements as a human race. This is not the time for second hand stuff. And I say second hand because I’m pretty sure Mr. Definitely Not Spanish Bosco went back to that Russian Goodwill he dumped those off at and was all, “I need them back! Are they still here???” and they TOTALLY WERE.
Again: It’s the OLYMPICS! The beauty! The athleticism! The determination! It’s the stuff epic triumphs and tragedies are made of.
And speaking of tragedies…. how about making this guy…
look like this?