Get Me Out of My Twenties!

The author at 22, trying to look cool with all the cares in the world.

The author at 22, trying to look cool with all the cares in the world.

By Lindsay Patton-Carson

I don’t get the big deal about turning 30. People react to it as if life ends after 29, which I don’t buy.

As someone working their way out of their 20s (I’m currently 28), I’m personally ready for the next decade. Specifically, I’m ready to leave behind the confusion, bitterness and insecurities that made up a good majority of my twenties. Continue reading

Don’t tell me to smile

smiling faces

By Tara Cavanaugh

Let me first say that I have a serious-looking face. In photos where I’m not smiling, people ask me what’s wrong. In my passport photo, for which I was instructed not to smile, I look like a terrorist.

I’ll also say that I’m expressive, the kind of person who talks with her hands, and my moods are easily read on my face.

All that being said: Do not tell me to smile.

I hear it often. Brushing past a colleague in the hall: Smile! Rushing out the door late to an appointment: Smile!

There’s a whole bunch of reasons I hate being told to Smile. One, it assumes I’m going to be happy all the time. Two, it assumes that even if I’m feeling something slightly negative, I better not show it. Three, it’s a judgment that says: if you’re feeling something negative, well it can’t be that bad, so get over it.

Of course I won’t be happy all the time. And it’s my own face, dammit. So who is this stranger to judge whether or not I should be feeling something negative?

I’d much prefer for someone to say, “Hey, you OK?” When that happens, I usually snap out of whatever thing I’m scrutinizing in my head and I go, “Oh golly gee willikers, I’m great!” or something to that effect. Because whatever frown I’m wearing is probably due to the fact that I just realized I’m wearing my underwear backwards and they’re riding up. Continue reading

What I would tell my teenage self

She’s All That. Because high school is a perpetual party. Look at these guys. In real life, they were like, 29.

We’re kind of loath to offer advice to ALL teenagers. But we do have a few choice words for our former teenage selves.
By Samantha Howard, Lindsay Patton and Tara Cavanaugh

Being a teenager is not cool.
You like movies like She’s All That  and Ten Things I Hate About You.** Because in the movies, the teenage years look like an endless party. In reality, it’s an endless amount of mortification: pimples, parents, failures and frenemies as you figure life out. No worries. Later in life, you’ll find that most of the people you admire, the people who are interesting, funny and stylish adults, were totally awkward teenagers. I think it’s because high school only allows you a few categories (sporty/artsy/brainy). But most of us are a few combinations of that, and as an adult, you really do get to find your niche, and you really do blossom as a person. So no matter what a sitcom or a teen rom-com movie says, you will *not* blossom during your teenage years. Not as a person. Sorry. You’re all ugly duckling for now. You’ll be a swan after college. (TC)

**THIHAY is actually a fabulous movie. As far as teen rom-coms inspired by Shakespeare go. Continue reading