Fail of the Week: Breaking Dawn, Breaking Bad

K.Stew, oh, K.Stew. What are we to do with you? It’s like you put on lingerie added a see-through skirt and call it a dress. It’s like a game of let’s pretend to be naked on the red carpet without being naked. But K.Stew, I did not want to play peek-a-boo with your lady bits.

Bonus Bad: Julianne Hough, what is this bondage for your boobs?! Even your hair isn’t on board with this plan. Continue reading

The best responses to Todd Akin’s ‘legitimate rape’ bullshit

Don’t you just love when politicians say they “misspoke”? Like, wouldn’t it be better just to say they had a stroke or were drinking?

For example, take this “misspoken” gem: “If it’s a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try and shut that whole thing down,” said current rep in the U.S. Effing House of Representatives Todd Akin as he tried to defend his stance on abortion to a TV station. If I were his PR rep I’d blame the booze.

Akin’s suffered a lot of political setbacks in his Senate race since then––namely huge financial setbacks as GOP funders run away screaming, but dude’s digging in his heels, refusing to quit and instead offering some lame apology to the people (but none to Science, Biology, or FACTS).

Here are some of the best, definitely not misspoken responses since then:

President Obama: “Rape is rape. The idea that we should be parsing and qualifying and slicing what types of rape we’re talking about doesn’t make sense to the American people and certainly doesn’t make sense to me… We shouldn’t have a bunch of politicians, the majority of whom are men, making healthcare decisions on behalf of women.” (Washington Post)

Wall Street Journal Editorial: “Mr. Akin has sunk his own ship.” (WSJ.com)

Sen. Scott Brown, R-Mass.: “As a husband and father of two young women, I found Todd Akin’s comments about women and rape outrageous, inappropriate and wrong. There is no place in our public discourse for this type of offensive thinking. Not only should he apologize, but I believe Rep. Akin’s statement was so far out of bounds that he should resign the nomination for U.S. Senate in Missouri.” (ABC)

A DOCTOR: “A further problem with proclamations like Akin’s, though, is what they sound like to women who have been raped. If you believe what he does, then anyone who did get pregnant wasn’t ‘legitimately’ raped. Moreover, it belies a willful ignorance of science. Rape has occurred in history time and time again. Women get pregnant from it. This is known. There is no debate to be had. (CNN)

Katie J.M. Baker: “For decades, conservatives have claimed that women can’t get pregnant from ‘legitimate’ rape thanks to their wise, all-knowing uteri, psychic ‘juices’ and Spidey Sense-like ‘secretions.’ (Hmm, if legislators can applaud our vaginas for being so omniscient, how come they can’t let us control them?)” (Jezebel’s “Official Guide to Legitimate Rape”)

“Akin” himself: “I am an evil, fucked-up man who should never have been elected to the United States Congress, and anyone who would vote for me is probably a pretty big fucking dumbshit, too.” (The Onion)

–TC

Wins and Fails of the Week: People’s Choice Awards

I kind of dig Vanessa Hudgens’s art deco dress. It’s like she’s starring in her own flapper-esque dinner mystery theater. And while she’s trying to convince you she’s innocent, her dress clearly says I’ve got you trapped in my web of lies.

Continue reading

Fail of the Week (now with added holiday spirit)

Is it a faux pas to still make Black Swan jokes?

FotW might be a misnomer as I’m not sure when this special aired. (I don’t live in the U.K. although I think it would be fab if I did.) But I just saw the video this week, so I guess it counts. And I have two different thoughts about Ms. Rowland’s outfit, and lucky you, I’m going to share both.

Continue reading

Why the Mississippi “personhood amendment” failed

Mississippi voters decided yesterday by a 55 percent majority not to outlaw abortion and some kinds of birth control methods. Photo by The New York Times.

Yesterday Mississippi citizens voted against a so-called “personhood” amendment that would have outlawed abortion and would have prohibited some types of birth control, too.

Continue reading

Fail of the Week: Just Sey-fried NO

So I’ve kind of always liked Amanda Seyfried ever since she predicted the weather with her boobs in Mean Girls. (Plus, she was totally Veronica Mars’ doomed-but-way-fun BFF Lily. I love pretty much everyone from that show.) But as much as I like, and as pretty as she is, there is never an excuse for a shiny blue suit as formal wear. And can Hollywood stop trying to make formal shorts happen? They’re shorts—you can’t really dress them up even if you add heels. Plus, she looks like she’s in a suit competition with J. Timberlake. Girlfriend, if you want to suit up and out-GQ J.T., then you’re going to have try something that doesn’t look like it got stuck in a time warp for an ’80s prom.

–By Lindsay Ray

Bye, Bye, Eyeeeebroooowws

Men enjoy an unfair freedom from constant beauty scrutiny (have you seen the ugly male mofos on TV?). Which is why this (alleged) falsie eyebrow situation is hilarious.

As is the follow up statement from Ron Paul’s campaign: He was suffering from allergies. To his artificial eyebrow hair?

I actually understand the need for falsie brows. Not that I’ve ever noticed a man using them. But if the eyes are the windows to the soul, the eyebrows are the drapes. They just don’t usually… drape.

Fails and Wins of the Week: Harry-Potter-is-almost-over-and-so-is-my-childhood Edition

So in case you’ve been living under a rock or the outer reaches of space, let me edu-ma-cate you. There’s a boy called Harry Potter. And Harry Potter just happens to be a wizard. And BAM! Instant franchise and riches for Jo Rowling. And after many, many years the final Potter film is premiering, and thus endeth a dynasty. And some people might be very excited (somewhat misty-eyed) about it because the books captured the hearts of a generation. And some people, I’m not naming any names, might be so excited, they’re going to Orlando to visit Harry Potter World. (Yay butter beer!) SO what it all comes down to is that there was a big to-do at the premiere, and I just couldn’t ignore it.

Wins: Supermegafoxyawesomehot

Emma Watson (aka Hermione Granger forever and there’s nothing you can do about it) is a mini-fashionista is training. And although this dress sort of reminds me of something you’d wear to prom (if you wear designer dresses to prom, I dunno, not at my high school), just look how happy and floaty she is! It’s like she’s saying “Freedommmmm!” except not, because she will be Hermione-forever in my mind. I <3 her.

Bonus: She looks a bit like Marilyn Monroe here with her poofy skirt. Or I just have Marilyn on my mind.

 

Only Helena Bonham Carter could pull off this amoeba hat that semi-clashes with her dress. But the dress is fab.

Neville Longbottom, I mean Matt Lewis, where did you come from? I know Neville goes all badass in the last film, but what have you been hiding under your robes? Please wear a suit more often, sir.

Fails: What the devil is going on here?

Overly tan surfer/rocker/dude and his grandmother. And by that I mean, Jamie Campbell Bower and this old woman impersonating Bonnie Wright. C’mon, Ginny Weasley, you’re a hot, young redhead. Get it together!

Natalia Tena clearly used a time turner to get her outfit for the night. Or you know, a hot tub time machine. This sort of looks like something Kelly Kapowski would wear in one of her more daring moments as she breaks up with Zack at the school dance for the umpteenth time. Actually, I take that back; Kelly would never wear her hair that big.

–By Lindsay Ray