Mad Women: Joan and the double-edged sword of female sexuality

Married life was her ticket out of the office... so she thought.

When we first meet Joan, she’s the office sexpot who seems to have it all: impeccable style, irresistible curves, and command over all of the suits and secretaries in the office. The young women admire her and listen to her wisdom. The men do her favors just to see her smile. She is in complete command of her sexuality, and she can use it to get whatever she wants.

But not anymore. In the latest season, we’ve seen Joan unable to fight her own battles. When some male goons make inappropriate comments (and illustrations) about her, she fights them the best way she knows how: She tattles. When that doesn’t work, she confronts them with a scathingly sincere tongue lashing that reminds them her husband is off at war, and one day, they could be too. Then Peggy fires one of them, for which Joan is pointedly ungrateful: Now everyone will know you took care of it for me, she tells Peggy.

Joan has lost her power. She’s just an aging secretary, as one of the goons in Creative tells Peggy: “Just like my mom. There’s a woman like her in every office.”

The first time we saw Joan powerless, though, was when her to-be husband rapes her. It happens just after they run into Roger, who makes it clear that he and Joan used to have a relationship. The scene was a power play: Roger was threatened by Joan’s young fiancée, so he hinted that Joan didn’t even like the restaurant that her fiancée was taking her to. It was completely insensitive and selfish on Roger’s part, but when have we seen him be much of anything else? Her fiancée responds by making it clear that Joan is now in his control.

Joan's hubby hopes she'll charm his work superiors into forgetting he's an unsuccessful doctor.

Later, her husband pouts about his lack of success as a doctor and snaps at Joan: “You don’t know what it’s like to want something your whole life!” Joan’s response? To throw a vase at him. Of course she knows what it’s like to want something your whole life and not get it. She married this loser, didn’t she? Her husband has been the dependent one in the relationship since day one. Marriage back then was supposed to provide a woman with all she needed, but he hasn’t been able to provide that end of the bargain.

So I have to ask Joan the same question I asked Betty: What do you want? At the end of season four, Joan coolly tells Peggy, “I get my enjoyment from other things outside of this office.” Peggy rightly calls “Bullshit!” and they both laugh. But Joan clearly isn’t happy in the office anymore. She’s overworked and underpaid, and now she’s pregnant with Roger’s child. After meeting a mother in the abortion clinic this season, who asked Joan how old her daughter was, it was clear that Joan was getting too old for this. So she lies, says she has a 15-year-old, and walks out of the clinic, still pregnant.

Joan’s pregnancy signifies that she’s moving on to another phase in her life. After all, mothers in the sixties didn’t work. Will Joan want to live the domestic life? She seems lonely. Whenever we see her outside of work, she’s home alone in her pajamas.

But right now, Joan wants a change, and any one will do.

–By Tara Cavanaugh

Mad Men Yourself in 2010…without looking like your grandma

A fit like this is only tailor-made, baby.

The epic fashion juggernaut that is Mad Men has been influencing fashion since the debut of the show in 2007. It’s been decades since below-the-knee pencil skirts, prim blouses, scarves and retro housedresses have been this cool.

1. Focus on Fit

Tailoring is essential. No matter what these women wear it’s crazy fitted, like an Olympic swimmer’s swimsuit.  There’s no mistake that each of the outfits on the show were altered to fit each actor exactly.  There’s no way Joan would be even half as sexy if her signature jewel toned dresses were, dare I say it, ill-fitting. Make your local tailor your best friend.

2. Foundation Garments

Unless you’re a beatnik like Midge, you need to get the gals front and center. Get measured; find out your real bra size. This is also a chance to buy the ultimate in 60s-era comfort: lacy granny panties. Think: vintage, pastel, high-waist, with lots of lace. The scene where Roger rides the model around the office in season one? Like that. Very pretty, feminine and more comfortable than the scourge of modern panties: thongs. You can skip the girdles.

3. Make up is all out and matte

There is no shine nor sparkle in the makeup. And every woman wore a full face: powder, blush, mascara, eyeliner, lipstick. To really nail this look, go heavy on the eyeliner and wing it out. Then, a matte lipstick in a pink or red. Think: peaches and cream. The look is much more dramatic for every day than it is now. If you’re a mascara and chapstick kind of girl, you really can’t go overboard.

Betty's matching accessories and matte makeup are as much of a staple as her pouty glare.

4. Dress demurely

This is not an era that is about skin (yet).  Dresses are mid-knee or just below, and necklines are not cleavage-happy. And no midriffs! The outstanding factor is that the early 60s look is all about (very narrow and stereotypical) femininity.  No matter if the skirt silhouette is slim like a pencil or full like a cupcake, it’s all about the hourglass. Keep in mind that dresses were the dominant garment of a woman’s wardrobe, and they all had emphasis at the waist. It’s the same for trousers too: on women, the pants were narrow had a high rise to make the hourglass nothing but va-va-voom.

5. Match your accessories

Shoes, belt, and handbag all match. Wear only one type of metal jewelry at a time. The women tended to wear more accessories than we do these days, but unless there was a special occasion there were rarely statement pieces that really stood out. The exception: scarves.  As Joan tells Peggy in the first episode: “Men love scarves.” Silk scarves worn a million ways, in fun patterns and colors (which of course match the outfit) are a great way to be bold.

–By Erin K. O’Neill

Barbie Joan gets cut down a size (or 4)

Barbie Joan

Mattel has created a Mad Men collection of Barbies, which makes the six-year-old in me squeal. Once upon a time, I had THE baddest Barbie collection in the neighborhood. And I bet pink plastic heels are still stuck in the orange shag carpet of the basement.

But the Internets tell me something’s wrong with Mattel’s version of Joan. The notoriously voluptuous character has been slimmed down, causing quite the uproar in blogs and pop culture sites alike.

Mattel’s answer? They were trying to capture the essence of the show, not the proportions.

This raises some questions: What would have happened if Mattel had made a whole new Barbie for Joan? It’s not like Barbie is known for her diversity in sizes. Should Mattel have made a new bustier and hippy-er mold for one character? Would people have reacted negatively a Barbie Joan who was noticeably larger than the other characters in the cast?

This makes Mattel look about as tolerant as Janice is towards the America’s Next Top Model contestants. But I wonder if Mattel could have made the public happy with whatever mold it cast for Barbie Joan, no matter the accuracy.

I suppose at the end of the day, Barbie is just Barbie. She doesn’t grow, and she doesn’t change. And besides, Mattel refuses to give the dolls any of their naughty accessories anyway—no cigarettes or martini glasses allowed, GASP!—so how realistic can we possibly expect the dolls to be?

–By Tara Cavanaugh